I argued with my sisters today. I am not really sure who won. I guess we called a truce since nothing really changed after all was said and done.
Okay…I guess I need to explain this one.
I have sister spirits. There are actually three of us. There's me...D'Anne and then Dana and Deanna. And the three of us make one.
Okay, I am not crazy. And no I am not being sacrilegious; I realize that what I am describing could not even compare to the Holy Trinity. Yes, I feel bipolar at moments...but I can assure you I am not crazy. But I have to admit that I do have at least three distinct personalities. Each of these plays a key role in the person that I truly am, and depending on the situation, one of the personalities will fight for control.
To get a better understanding of this, I guess I need to explain each of the personas. Okay, there is Deanna. She is the innocent one. I like to call her the "Kum Ba Yah Girl." See, she is lover of all humanity and is truly a peacemaker. She has this obnoxiously nice habit of getting every person involved in a situation to see the other's point of view. She is an ego-stroker and pleasure giver...loves to make you feel good about yourself. Deanna never gives any thought to satisfying her own personal desires. She is always focused on the needs of others. Yep….Lil Miss Goody-Too Shoes!
Now Dana is the control freak, and I will admit she usually rules in most of the day-to-day stuff. Perfectionist is not a strong enough of a word to describe this chick. She always appears cool under fire. A true lady....you would never know this girl was having a difficult time or that her money was funny. Her hair and makeup are always on point even though she hasn't seen a stylist for at least eight months. And when she skips lunch because she doesn’t have the ends, she can convince others that she is watching her figure or just doesn’t have the time to waste on a silly thing like eating.
Dana doesn't pick battles...normally avoids them at cost. But when she is engaged in one, my girl has a way of holding her own. I often refer to it as the "nice-nasty" technique. You know what I’m talking about right? She tells you off, smiles at you the whole time and you walk away in agreement. Most people who have been subjected to it don’t even realize they have been told off until hours or days later. It is truly something to behold when it is in play. Simply put...the girl has it together, but does it in such a way that it doesn't ruffle feathers.
So how would I describe me, D'Anne? Well don't jump to conclusions. Just because Deanna is the angelic one and Dana is the lady, doesn't mean that I'm the hellcat! LOL… I know Big Country and a few personal friends might disagree. No, I am definitely not a hell raiser. I guess you can call me fiery and passionate. I will even accept the term “spitfire.”
I just simply tell it like it is. I don't try to hurt feelings, but when I feel strongly about an issue, I am not trying to spare them either. I like to believe that I am the liberated one. However, as I indicated before, Dana usually holds court. That's why I'm the writer...I can be unleashed without causing too much damage. Plus Dana seems to think that people will take my opinionated nature as literary license or a fictional account and not be offended. Whatever!
Plus, I am an admitted potty mouth! Man, it is terrible. I have been known to make grown men cringe. Now I don’t curse all of the time…only when riled up. And when I do…it is over the top. I have been known to conjugate curse words.
I picked the habit up as a tween. The tomboy in me always had me hanging with the boys and I was free to practice my skill with them. They got a good laugh out of it. Dana can usually stifle me, but when I cranked up…watch out. LOL.
Okay so now you have the background. Well earlier today we got a call that one of our kin has been rushed to the hospital. Now I won’t divulge the relationship. Remember, I plan to protect the innocent and not so innocent. (That is really a compromise I made with Deanna. She is too sweet to not get her way in this one.)
Anyway this relationship with this relative has been pretty tumultuous. She is one of those people who constantly disregard your feelings. I mean she will cuss you out like you are an untouchable. Then she will have the audacity to expect…no demand…that you help her or give her what she wants. Yeah, unfortunately she is one of the toxic relationships in our world.
The big problem is that we just can’t ignore her. The relationship is too close and I guess you would say that we have a responsibility to look after her. Well this past week with her…OMG…it was horrible. She was in rare form…just spewing hatefulness. We knew it was coming, but still it throws every time she erupts. See she is bipolar and we had been dealing with the syrupy happiness. So we know the madness was on its way.
So the rage occurred this past Monday evening. I won’t detail it because it basically pisses me off every time I recount it. And then for the last few days…there was blessed silence. Now at first lil’ Deanna did not push us to bridge the gap. She knew the issue was still really hot and it was probably best not to stir up the embers. But by yesterday, she was dropping the hints. I was doing a pretty good job of ignoring De’Anna’s pleas. And then we got the call this evening. Of course, I was not hearing it. Shoot I was tired…plus the troublemaker had yet to say she was sorry for tormenting us earlier that week.
But then Deanna got Dana to back her. Dana starting pointing out that we were supposed to act like responsible adults. Now this incident was not life threatening, but she did need to go to the hospital to be checked. Well, I just wasn’t feeling it. Frankly I am tired of this chick walking all over us…using us as doormats…spewing ill will toward us. She loves telling us that she don’t care what we think…that she doesn’t need us. But as soon as some ish jumps off…my phone starts ringing.
Well I wasn’t hearing it. But then Ms. Control Freak Dana starts rationalizing crap…reminding us that we are the adults. Talking about how lil Miss Thang isn’t in a position to handle her business….yada ya….yada ya. The entire time Deanna is joining in with her remixed version of “We Are the World” that has her special chorus of helping the mentally challenged. Just rubbish if you ask me.
But of course, I gave in. But that is not going to stop me from voicing my opinion about it. (And I did go on a little cursing tirade…I will spare you the details.). That’s the reason for this today’s session.
See I know that the Good Book tells us to pray for our enemies. It also tells us to pray for those who “despitefully use” and abuse us. I am not going to debate that for I am a believer. But I don’t like it. I have a problem with people who think that they are grown enough and big enough to do what they want without a care for the impact it causes and then have the nerve to expect me to run to their rescue every time their “grown enough” decisions get them in trouble. (Deanna should be proud of me…I kept myself from using profanity instead….LOL). Far as I am concerned, if you think you can handle your business without my input…then handle it.
The problem I have with my sister spirits is that they take too much bull. Deanna wants everybody to be happy with her. Dana just wants to maintain her appearance of control. The problem is that we are the ones who are dealing with the B.S. that results from this other person’s decisions. So what are we teaching when we do this and what is she learning? I feel that she is only fine-tuning her manipulation skills. And I am frankly tired of being used in such a manner. The girls claim it will get better…that we won’t find ourselves in this boat much longer. I frankly think they are deluding themselves. We have a lifetime tie with this other chick… I don’t see it getting better any time soon…