The end of the year is fast approaching and so is that deadline that my “agent” gave me. I have this book…my baby….that I have been writing and editing now for at least five years (I’m sure it’s more…), but I can’t get it done. The ideas and plot are swimming around in my head…hell, I have dreamt about chapters of it. The dang thing is basically written…so why am I struggling to get it down on paper?
I can’t blame it on writer’s block. Shoot…like I said…I am not at a loss for words or ideas. The characters are complex and interesting…extraordinary and believable. No it’s not writer’s block.
So when Big Country dared me to have “Fancy” ready for the world by mid-December, I took him up on it. He knows I can resist a dare! Shoot in all of the “Truth or Dare” games I have been involved in my lifetime, I have rarely just told the truth. That’s me…always looking for the next adventure.
So what is it then? I guess you can say I am having a life block. There has been so much drama going on in my own life…it is really overshadowing the fantasy in my head.
I finally came to this point this morning where I just decided enough was enough. I gotta start looking out for D’ Anne. This is my dream I am talking about. I ain’t going out like this.
I am going through a stage right now where timing is limited, my support network is megabytes away, and my pockets don’t even have lint in them. The personal crises of those around me are suffocating me. My career is stagnant, and the economy hasn’t really helped my entrepreneurial pursuits. It also doesn’t help that I really don’t like where I live right now. But that economy thing ain’t making relocation an option right now.
I have been swallowing my frustration so long that it is now choking the one outlet I have always had… writing. Even as a little girl, I could always count on that. I remember sitting outside on the front steps of that singlewide trailer and writing about any thing that came to mind. Back then, I just knew I was the next Alice, Zora or Maya.
So how I get it back? How do I move past my personal issues until I am back in writer’s bliss? My trusted circle of friends is not near and everyone has there hands full with their own ish right now. I have Big Country…but he’s such a black and white thinker and this issue cannot be handled with a black and white approach. Professional therapy is out of the question. And my girl Hannah is gonna eventually get tired of the free “cry-on-my-shoulder” sessions and start charging me an hourly rate. And that chic ain’t cheap?
So I have decided to engage in my own form of self-therapy. Yep…I’m going work myself through this little problem I am having and I’m going to do it doing just what I’m good at…writing. What better way to work out my literary kinks than blogging?
Think about it. Blogging is the “in-thing” now. You can find a blog about any topic. So why not use this same tool to discuss the distracting thoughts and situations that are wreaking havoc on my game plan?
For the next 21 days, I am going to ramble myself to literary freedom. Yes…I am going to just put all of my thoughts and observations about my life out there. Any random person can view it…and maybe share a thought or some advice. My own free counseling session…and I don’t have to worry about confidentiality. D’ Anne is a persona I created. And I will change the names of people mentioned in my ramblings. This will protect the innocent…and not so innocent.
I chose to do this for 21 days because of the common belief that it takes 21 days to create or break habit. I just wanted to put this theory to test. I don’t really buy into it. Come on…it took me more than 21 days to get to the state I’m in. But hell, it can’t hurt. Plus, Idon’t wanna go into the New Year with this baggage.
What do I hope to achieve by doing this? Well, I simply want to be able to get past the distractions and focus on my baby again. The world is ready for Fancy’s story, and my life is interfering with that!
Come journey along with me. Maybe along the way you will come across a nugget that makes you laugh. Or you will be able to relate and share some knowledge that will help me deal with the issue. Or maybe I will just discover that this really was a case of writer’s block and I will be able to work myself out of it?