This past weekend, I, masquerading as my Alter Ego, found myself in the company of the sisterhood at Bethany Missionary Baptist Church. Yes, our Women’s Retreat was held at the Lazy Hill Ranch in Ingram, TX. The theme “From Brokenness to Blessedness” promised time spent in reflection, praise and celebration, and it did not disappoint.
But I am not going to focus on that right now. Yes, I do plan do deal with the actual event in another post. However, today, I choose to deal with the ride home Sunday morning.
After settling into my Suburban “Rufus,” I belted up and turned the key in the ignition. I pulled up KCHL 1480 AM on the radio…so that I could stay tuned into the Spirit. I checked the mirrors, put my vehicle in reverse and began to navigate the narrow lane back down to the main highway. After making that left onto TX Hwy 27, a thought suddenly invaded my mind.
I mean it was so loud, that I could have sworn someone actually spoke it. I literally glanced in the rear-view mirror. But of course, no one was in the SUV with me.
I shook my head, so totally thrown by that question. Why would that come up as I had just left such an empowering and uplifting event? I had started the weekend prepared to receive revelation and liberation. I had written down both the desires of my heart and the things from which I needed deliverance. I knew that I had connected with my Creator…my Daddy like I never had before. Surely I was okay and confident about the journey that lie ahead.
Or was I? Sure, it was a Spirit-filled retreat, surrounded by women either on the same quest or willing to stand in support with other sisters. I had received confirmation of my lifelong passion. Sisters reaffirmed my talent and skills. Love and support were poured over me.
There I was, heading back to my daily routine. Back to balancing the projects… of the career and dream variety. Back to filling my time with work and events. Back to jumping out the bed at 4 or 5 a.m. to chat with overseas technical teams about enrollment management system implementations. Back to online conference sessions with post-secondary education administrators throughout the day, Monday through Friday. Back to the mad dashes through Alamo City traffic to the latest film shoot, church program, sister-friend session or promotions event.
Since arriving in the S.A., I have experienced so much change. Makes sense…I am hundred miles away from the familiar. I have had to form new relationships and build new alliances. Even when I tremble deep inside from nervousness and anxiety, I have had to stand tall looking confident although I have not been certain of the outcome. Hell, I even took on Hershey, my feisty puppy…and those who know me back in my old world, know that I would have never gone that route before.
I even allowed myself to display my passion on stage, under the scrutiny of strangers. That was a totally new experience; my writing had always been such a private, intimate experience. But now several people have been engaged in my “Pillow Talk.”
I’ve change my hair…my attire…my whole presentation. Yeah, I’ve done the natural look before; this is actually my third dance. But it’s been different this time. Now it’s nothing for me to rock the bold color coupled with the “just-out-of-bed” style. The old “Me” had two uniforms in the past. There was the polished office look and then the equally polished church look. Although I have always been a shoe lover, I never graced heels more than 2.5 inches. Now I have racks full of stilettos. My primary closet (yes, I have two) is full of bold colors; the neutral colors are kept in the guest bedroom.
Things that I never saw myself doing have been done. I have even experienced dining alone. My old crew probably just did a double-take. So not the Peach’s style! But now, I will sit down and savor every morsel solo-style. And I don’t mind twirling and shaking my booty around the dance floor all by myself.
So what now?
Hell, if I know. LOL. But that’s so cool. I plan to live boldly. I plan to embrace each new adventure…each new experience. And when love catches up with me…ooooo weeeee!
Of course, I am going to document it all. I hope the world is ready. I know I am.
Live Blessed, Live Boldy!